Oh and then there’s this rejection email. Probably my favorite condescending, canned email from you: “May we keep your resume on file for future opportunities?”
Are you fucking kidding me? You haven’t even looked at my resume. It was subjected to your complete bullshit software program and apparently didn’t have the right keywords or something and was immediately denounced and deleted and the automatic rejection email was launched and I was devastated to hear that I didn’t get the job but you’re going to “keep my resume on file for future opportunities” to soften the blow.
That one is my absolute, most-loved email in the world, because it’s ridiculous and disdainful and aren’t you ashamed of yourselves? We see through it. We see through you. We job hunters of the world know how you see us: you despise us. If you didn’t, why wouldn’t you take the time to actually look at our resumes and discover what assets we could be to your organization?
Out of curiosity, why do you despise us?
We’re just people who want a job. We want to work. We want to work for you.
Maybe the fact that we want to work for you is the very reason you despise us.
We’re begging, pleading, supplicating, practically debasing ourselves in the hopes that you’ll give us a job, and maybe you disrespect us for that. You have contempt for our desperation. You’re disgusted by our need.
I just became not-bitter.
I can honestly say that I’m not bitter anymore, because how you feel about me and treat me and disrespect me is a reflection of you, not me. I deserve better. I deserve to be treated like a human, not a resume.
For those of you who didn’t even look at my resume with human eyes, I’m grateful you didn’t see it, because then you would have interviewed me, and then you would have hired me – because I’m fucking amazing – and I’m so thankful none of that happened, because whether you realize it or not, you’ve told me everything I need to know about you, your company, and your culture. Thank God I’m not there.
Stopping the desperation right now. Desperation = basement. (See The Beginning.)