I’d like to get back to my brilliant cousin and the fact that he’s financially blessed and how it affects the rest of us job hunters.
By the way, my brilliant cousin’s bank account is none of my business and that’s not what this post is about. He has worked hard and deserves every penny that he has made and saved and invested, and I’m impressed and want to soak up his money-management skills. Like I said, he’s brilliant.
Here’s why I bring it up in the first place. He has the money to hire the woman who has out-smarted the “fuck you and your pathetic resume” software. He has the means to pay her to alter every resume that he submits. In short, he can afford to game the system and actually get an interview.
What about the rest of us?
I’m barely making ends meet during this unemployment cluster fuck that I’m drowning in, and hiring an expensive consultant to run every resume through her proprietary software and mess around with it enough so that I can “game the system” and get an interview is not an option for me.
It’s not an option for a lot of people; most of whom are unemployed and desperately needing a legit job. Not all of us are willing to settle for that call center gig. We crave work that challenges us and values our talents and experience. Work that will pay us enough to survive.
We’re up for the same jobs as the people who have enough cash to hire the consultant and game the ridiculous – god help us – “fuck you and your pathetic resume” software and the companies that use it. This means that the people with the cash – the wealthy people, the wealthy parents, people with wealthy family and friends – are the only people who can game the system.
They’re the people who can afford to get a job. Guess who the majority of these people are?
Middle-aged white men.
Let me stop here to say that this post is not to denigrate or disparage men in any way. It’s not. I promise. I’m not anti-men at all. I love men. Most men.
I love my dad.
Anyway, am I wrong about this? I’m not wrong about this.
Those of us who don’t have another cent to spare, because it’s all going to bills, can’t afford to hire the proprietary software woman to game the system, fix our resumes, and get us interviews. Neither can the underemployed who have an MBA and find themselves barely surviving at their $12 an hour call center job. What about single parents who are working two jobs to pay for kids, computers, and extra-curriculars? And that first-generation college graduate whose parents spent their entire savings to put her through school? Forget about it.
So here’s my primary objective of this post: how in the world does this “fuck you and your pathetic resume” software promote workplace diversity?
You’re speechless, aren’t you? You don’t like the answer that you have to give to that question. I’ll tell you what, I’ll answer it for you:
That hiring software that you’re so proud of does not promote workplace diversity in any capacity.
Diversity and inclusion are more important than ever, right? Ok, so think about this: when you and your company apply that nefarious, insidious, evil, immoral, reprehensible, malevolent (I think maybe you’re starting to understand how I feel about this software) hiring software, you’re “weeding out” a diverse group of smart, talented, capable, hard-working, grateful people who would drastically improve your ideas, your global footprint, and your culture.
You and your company are missing out on possibilities, opportunities, potentialities. Think of what you could have been if only you hadn’t bought that stupid software.