Chips and salsa: the misunderstood food group

  • Four Cupcakes Later – Part 2 The second my apartment door closes behind me, I dive into the first cupcake. I have to make sure you understand this: the second, I mean the literal second the door hits that latch, I tear the pink box apart. I shred and rip and open until it no longer resembles a box. Pink cardboard ...
  • Four Cupcakes Later – Part 1 September 2015 Let’s start with the four cupcakes I just ate. First of all, I have to make it very clear that this is not a normal occurrence. I haven’t had a cupcake since June when Smartest was here with her family and we decided to have a little dessert. But I’ve been having a terrible ...
  • Cooking Can Kill You 2014 Last night I did something that I haven’t done in a long time. I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong—I still have not shaved my legs. I’m saving them for the right guy. No, last night was the first time in months that I actually cooked. Or attempted to. Normally I microwave, because ...
  • Why Is This So Hard? 1987 Time to participate in the ritual that I had been preparing for my entire life: the scholarship pageant. (You say beauty, I say scholarship.) Running for queen of my little city had been a lifelong dream for me. I rehearsed my talent arduously, focused on walking gracefully without falling off the stage, practiced interviewing and giving ...